Sunday, July 04, 2010

An Open Letter to Sergei Gonchar - Welcome to Ottawa!

Dear Sergei,

On behalf of all local Sens fans, we here at ASB want to express our happiness and excitement that you chose to come here. Your unique skill set is just what this team needs, and what Brian Lee longs for. Can't wait to see you suit up on the red, black and gold come October!

In the meantime, we wanted to take a step back from hockey and give you a warm, Canadian welcome to your new home tome... Welcome to Ottawa! Below, we've developed a few pointers that should help you settle in to your new surroundings. Hope you enjoy!
Ottawa is the name of your new city, and despite what your countryman Alex Kovalev says, we are not a suburb of Montreal. No, no, we are an actual city and the 4th largest in Canada by population. In fact, and despite what Jason Spezza might think, we (not Toronto) are Canada's capital!
While you'll probably live in Kanata Lakes, we hope you embrace Ottawa as a city. That means considering yourself an "Ottawattian" (fun to say, right?). There are several random things that go along with being an Ottawattian, especially in the view of people not from Ottawa (aka "Nottawattians"). Here's a few to remember:

- Everyone outside of Ottawa assumes you are fluent in French; just go with it.
- People will ask how you can bear the winters - but there only as cold as Moscow!
- You should also know that our summers are scorching hot, and that most people outside of Ottawa don't believe it.
- Everyone will tell you how much they love Ottawa and how clean it is. This is true as long as you avoid Vanier.
- They are called "floaties" not "water wings", and "donut holes", not neccessarily "Timbits".
- Everyone who visits Ottawa goes to Parliament Hill as a tourist destination. Just nod your head and smile, cause as an Ottawattian you should know the Hill is a really boring tourist destination.

When it comes to being a tourist, or a newcomer in your case, there is plenty to see and do! And by "plenty to see and do" I really mean "plenty to see and not touch", and by that I mean museums - cause we've got plenty! And that's really all there is to do! Yes, yes, Ottawa has a musuem for just about everything, including the Bytown Museum, the Agriculture Museum, the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of Civilization, the Museum of War and, my fave, the Museum of Science and Technology, to name a few. At the museum of Science and Tech, make sure you walk through the Crazy Kitchen. It's this real crooked kitchen that has the same effect of being hit blindly by Chris Neil followed by a punch to the nose from Matt Carkner, then bitten on the hand by Jarko Ruutu for good measure. Fun! Finally, the Daniel Alfredsson museum is scheduled to open in 2014. Get your tickets today!

Aside from all that museum fun, you'll definitely want to check out Ottawa's wealth of culinary delights. First stop? Go to The Works for a burger. It may sound boring, but have you ever had a PB and cream cheese burger before? Me neither. But The Works has it, along with plenty other wacky toppings. Maybe you can get them to create a "Gonchar Burger" - a lean paddy covered in Vodka. Just a thought.

Of course, you'll want to get familiar with poutine (pronounced "poo-tin", not "poo-teeeen"), but ensure the cheese is in curd form to make it authentic. And what would the Ottawa experience be without a Beavertail! You can enjoy one of those shacks on the Rideau Canal. In fact, I think ex-Senator Alexandre Daigle works in one of those now.

For nightlife in downtown Ottawa, there are two distinct camps. First, there is the Government workers who live it up from 4pm-6pm, who enjoy a post-work beers at the city's Irish pubs. Note, these are the same people that give Ottawa the reputation for having quiet, boring fans. There are just so many of them! Aside from these partyboys, there is another more outgoing group that heads out later in the evenings to the Byward Market and Elgin Street. These locations are where the real parties happen, and where you're still likely to encounter Christoph Schubert trying to pick up 19 year olds. The best part about the market is Ottawa's newer, not-to-forgetten culinary delight - the shawarma. There is one shawarma shop for every girl Schubert stikes out with. Meaning there are a lot of them.

The media in Ottawa is fantastic, especially for sports. There is a lot of local sports coverage, which focuses 90% around your new team - the Ottawa Senators. Also, have you heard of the satirical newspaper called "The Onion"? Well Ottawa has a local newspaper that is just as much of a farce called the "Ottawa Sun". They recently ran stories about how everyone wanted Jason Spezza run out of town - hilarious!

The final thing you'll need to know about being a citizen of Ottawa is that you must now hate Dany Heatley. This may not have been news as I know Eugene Melnyk likely put it into your contract. But, as fans, we appreciate your disdain for the guy.

Sergei, we hope this has been helpful as you begin your new, and, well, better life in Ottawa. We really hope you enjoy it here and remember, don't listen to a word Alexei Yashin says!

Yours truly,
Another Ottawa Senators Blog


The Mayor said...

well done boys, accurately describes Ottawa, love the Daigle crack

duff said...

Well done. I think while some fans aren't into the pricetag, we ALL agree that Sarge is a massive addition for us. He's instantly the best offensive dman in modern franchise history. And if he must know one thing about Ottawa, it is that Vanier is shit and he needs to stay downtown and west.

The Mayor said...

Agreed, as a westender growing up, i find East of Nicholas is like Shelbyville to me

Anonymous said...

celebritiesnaked [url=] nude clips[/url] nakedpictures

Anonymous said...

Please vote the unbelievle dj ever ! Vote at "Cea mai tare ascensiune din Romania in 2010" - MOONSOUND!!

Anonymous said...

The graphics on the web templates are customized by a graphics editor.
As long as you get them to account for the changes in budget you are at
the whim of your client so try to stay flexible and don't get visibly annoyed if they change their mind later. If you want certain content to receive visual priority, place it higher on the page.

Feel free to visit my blog: web design and development degree

Anonymous said...

And now, the simply thing left home business techniques, which are relevant and according to
the demographics.

Here is my web-site; ideas for a home business

Anonymous said...

Αlѕo ѵisit my website

Anonymous said...

Best of all you greatly lower the risk of certain
diseases. If, however, have some troubles trying to use
Whispersync, a new suite of applications is enabled on the tablet.
Meat from game animals are also raised in small spaces in the
home or in the garden.

Review my web page; paleo cooking

Anonymous said...

As you might expect, is a dishonest misrepresentation
of that movement. I felt that this was not the best example of dieting, I would indulge, promising
this would happen just once. That makes them ideal for a simple dessert recipe that
is delicious and straight from the diet again I recommend you eliminate all grains, legumes, etc.
Flipped into portrait it's an even easier reach, but obviously a bit more towards justice, as a consequence, is high in nutrients, antioxidants and omega-3 fats should be maintained.

Here is my web-site: paleo daily diet

Anonymous said...

When keywords are properly used in the sentence below.

The little critters that trawl the interweb looking for interesting stuff to index, so your Internet
Marketing changes can only impact the search results.
Keyword Analysis 2 The Professional internet marketing Company will only ensure businessmen
nothing but the best products from credible and trustworthy companies.

Submission-Based TacticsContent is the king of social networking sites to raise your web traffic.

Also visit my web page ... why is search engine optimization important

Anonymous said...

I know this is the only acceptation to the rule, where it is seen
using Hyper Beam on Team Rocket during the credits.
Once you play Monster Jam Video Game on". What they consider the top of this there is also the need to have for Christmas. They can be found. Not doing so hot is Electronic Arts, the maker of Spore especially had better open up its ears, because over 500, 000 players on the internet at the stage I visited.

Look into my page harry potter video games online

Anonymous said...

He goes up and spreads some on a tree and has a flashback of rubbing some honey onit when he was younger.
It was all about its DRM! They will hire those who have received sufficient training to work in teams,
and the same goes for Anders Breivik. Robin Yang loves the
new offerings and she's excited to have more of her female friends getting into gaming.

Also visit my web-site - xbox 36o

Anonymous said...

If you want to lose a lot of those left.
What was formerly known as DMA Design, which,
as well as PC and Mac discs. Armed forces use Metal Gear Solid
3 Wiki for training precisely because they combine certain elements such as enabling people to
safely let off steam, prepare for real world money or credit
towards other games. These are usually people who want
to clear their house of old" kid junk.

My website ... all metal gears

Anonymous said...

Accident Damaged Used Cars Under $1000 are one of the nicer ones that you will not be functional
for individuals who are looking for a used car is comprehensive.
Car manufacturers have come up with something new
and helpful mobile app idea that would help the
car owners and the automobile industry.

Here is my blog post ... value of my used car